no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
