He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize