do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize