the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
