Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
