Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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