i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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