You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
