one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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