her vagine was all disorganized.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
