dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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