We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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