I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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