i need an iv and a liver transplant
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
