if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
