Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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