the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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