The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
His nipple licking is glorious
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