glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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