You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
