one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
