Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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