is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
