you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Randomize
