found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
