We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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