turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
