i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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