Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's shark week go big or go home
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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