If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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