Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
