from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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