Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
