stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
