she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize