my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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