Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
