Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
