Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
