So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
