I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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