How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
