Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
