It's like God shit irony all over that family
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
