I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize