i love accidental penises.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
