I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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