No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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