I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
