im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
