So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
do nipples grow back?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
