yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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