In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
