so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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