Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
