I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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