Fine. I'll sleep in my office
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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