He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Please, let me fuck your mom
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
