Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
