Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
