My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
