I cockslap morals
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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