Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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