I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
