brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
