Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
