my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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